Pre-Teen Boys Bathroom

When I was a kid, I never had the luxury of my own bathroom so I cannot honestly say I would have been any different. But the facts are facts. My four boys have the most ridiculous bathroom in the history of bathrooms. I've cleaned it. My wife has cleaned it a lot more. I have supervised the boys cleaning their bathroom. My wife has supervised even more than me. We've helped them clean it and we've cleaned it ourselves but that room just will not stay non-disgusting. These are the core problems:

1. Their aim is horrible. I know, I know, every woman who has ever lived with a man says the same thing but there is something incredibly wrong with their aim. When I was a kid, I learned pretty quickly to listen for that tell-tale sound that told you that your aim was true. They can't be hearing that sound. Maybe they are so used to the sound of liquid on tile flooring that they assume they are hitting the water. They keep the light on in the bathroom all night (they claim it is not a nightlight) so I know it has nothing to do with darkness. Think 'bathroom on the turnpike' and multiply it by 14.

(Above) Empty towel racks about the infamous 'Flush Me'
sign that is never, ever heeded.

2. They refuse to hang-up towels. My biggest pet peave. They go out of their way to NOT hang-up towels. I counted today. There are 27 different acceptable places to hang-up towels in that small bathroom. 27. If my english major math doesn't fail me, that is 9 places per user. I've asked nicely. I've threatened. I've cajoled. I've joked. I've screamed bloody murder. I've punished. I've demonstrated. I've offered rewards. I've converted every reachable free space into a hook. Help.


3. They are stinky kids. Kids are like wild animals. They clean themselves just enough to not be hunted by other animals but keep themselves dirty enough to keep the flies and ticks off of themselves. I suppose it is their nature.

Eventually, I will stumble upon a technique that will work to my satisfaction. Until that day...