Thursday, December 31, 2009

Jeff's New Guitar Game Controller

As part of the Christmas wrap-up, I have some really cool things I received as gifts. Time to start showing off the wares...

Without a doubt, my sexiest and probably most Uncool present to receive was a new guitar/game controller for my various games. My old Rock Band guitar died last summer and that created a problem. Mainly, we could no longer play Rock Band very well with just drums and a microphone. Hence, my "career" was over just as it was getting pretty good.

Then a series of miracles happened. First our old Guitar Hero 2 game, which until this time had been damaged beyond all repair, suddenly started working again. The family referred to this happy event as the 'Christmas Miracle' and the two weeks leading up to Christmas were filled with me and the boys a rockin'! Then on Christmas Eve, Santa awoke me from my egg nog induced slumber and handed me my new ax.

"Here you go my son," said Santa. "You must rock!"

It's a thing of beauty:

*Size and weight comparable to a real guitar
*Cordless
*Special adapter for use with Rock Band AND Guitar Hero on Playstation 2 & Playstation 3

Another Christmas miracle. Now time to rock...


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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Jeff's Uncool Predictions for 2010

Every year beginning with this one, I have issued an annual list of predictions for the coming year.

Prediction #1 - I will NOT watch American Idol

Prediction #2 - I will NOT watch 'The Oscars', 'The Emmy's', 'People's Choice Award', 'MTV Music Awards', 'MTV Movie Awards', 'BET Awards', 'The Tony Awards', 'Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards', 'The ESPY's', etc. There's always a chance, so I never say never, but my record has been pretty strong the past five or six years at avoiding all of this.

Prediction #3 - I will turn up on television someplace this year. I have one thing shot that I'm pretty sure will air and there's a good chance I'll be on but I'm thinking this might another banner year.

Prediction #4 - My ice maker in the freezer will continue to only make one batch per day until March when it will stop even doing that.

Prediction #5 - I will forget I made any of these predictions by next week.

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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Jeff's Hickory Farms Gift Box

My father is a creature of habit and one of his habits is to send me and my brother a Hickory Farms gift box every Christmas. I must say, I am a sucker for the Hickory Farms gift box. As a kid, when we went to the mall, I'd sneak by the Hickory Farms booth about a hundred times to scarf-up their free samples of summer sausage they'd have laid out on a tray. When I got older, I was too cheap to buy it for myself but my dad started buying them for us and having them delivered. Nowadays, it isn't a Christmas without the ol' H.F. hitting the doorstep the week before Christmas.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year... (burp, burning taste, yummy)

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Christmas Peanut Butter Fudge

With the Christmas Season hard upon us, I decided this year to make a little fudge for around the house. Growing up, my grandmother always had old coffee cans (decorated with felt and Christmas themes) full of fudge, cookies, buckeyes and candies. I found a recipe in my old handy-dandy Better Homes & Gardens cookbook and set to work.

Ingredients: Sugar, peanut butter (chunky if you want the fudge nutty), marshmallow creme, butter and evaporated milk.

Not surprisingly, there are massive amounts of sugar in this recipe. And you start with 4 cups of sugar, a cup of butter and a can of evaporated milk in a buttered saucepan. Heat on medium (I stir most of the time because that's what I saw my grandmother doing).

Here's the tricky part: The syrupy mixture needs to be heated until it reaches 234 degrees (no more than 240). That's right, 234. Not 233 or 232. 234. This is called 'softball stage' and I think I figured out how to do it without the thermometer but I wasn't willing to risk ruining $47 dollars worth of sugar to find out. Once it is 234, you remove from heat and mix in the peanut butter and marshmallow creme. It's really quite easy if you have $47 worth of sugar and a candy thermometer.

When all ingredients have finally been mixed thoroughly, pour the fudge into a buttered 13 x 9 baking dish. I sprinkled some chopped nuts on top and pressed them in slightly for a nutty top. You could add nuts to the fudge itself but I had just gone ahead and used crunchy peanut butter and that did the trick.

Cool completely, then cut. I used a sharp knife dipped in water for a cleaner cut. I also took some of the fudge, balled-it-up, dipped it melted chocolate for a crude but effective buckeye. Lay neatly inside of a tin on top of wax paper, add a bow to the top and you are ready to serve.


I can't eat any of it but it smells delightful and the boys are sucking them down. Merry Christmas!

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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Television - Uncool Year in Review

True Blood (above). The stupidest show on television.

Much like that curmudgeon with the shorts and black socks I've become, I like to watch what I like to watch on TV and I've stopped trying to impress anyone with my taste. I've divided my lists accordingly, so here goes...

SHOWS EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TO LIKE BUT I CAN'T REALLY STAND
These are shows that I've seen or watch because my wife watches. I don't really like these shows but I can stomach it for the sake of my loved ones:

True Blood - What the heck is it with vampires? I don't completely understand why we need forty seven versions of the vampire thing going on right now. I so wanted to like this show, but its stupid. Everybody has horrible accents, the vampire stuff is stupid, it's not particularly funny, it's not particularly scary, and it's stupid. Besides all that, I'm fine with it.

Law & Order: (Fill in the blank) God bless Dick Wolf for creating 3,492 episodes of television. He's got to be a billionaire a couple of times over by now. After about episode 2,500, I was pretty much done.

Sons of Anarchy (above) the greatest show on television.

SHOWS EVERYONE ELSE LIKES THAT I LIKE ALSO
This is the list of shows I'd say I liked if I were at a cool guy party and I didn't want to lie and I knew it would be safe to say so. Plus, I really like them.

Sons of Anarchy - As per usual, I'm suckered into hoping the bad guys win. This time it is dirt bag bikers who run guns. Not that bikers are necessarily bad, only when they run guns.

Dexter - I'll be honest, this is getting close to my 'I'm not digging this anymore list' but it is turning around. I haven't seen the finale yet (satellite issues) but I heard it was epic so don't tell me.

Modern Family - Not sure how long I'll dig this show but right now I'm cracking up everytime it comes on.

The Tudors - It helps that he only had six wives, because it is starting to get a little repetitious. Knowing that the final season is coming up gives me a little more hope. Either way, I've really enjoyed the 'cool guy Henry VIII'.

Mad Men - Everybody seems to dig this show and I'm sure I agree for all the same reasons.

Hell's Kitchen (above) the greatest show on television.

SHOWS I USED TO LIKE BUT NOW PRETTY MUCH DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYMORE
Heroes - Stupid. First season was killer. What happened? Like an idiot, I watched every episode this season hoping beyond hope. Hope dashed.

Entourage - Going through the motions.

24 - 24 x stupid. The whole premise is old. First season was hot. Then I fell asleep at some point and didn't really feel like turning it back on. What does that say?

Project Runway - I'm surprised about this, but I suddenly lost interest. Even my old pal Tim Gunn seemed to be phoning it in a bit.

SHOWS I LIKE, I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK I'M A GOOBER
Reality game shows: Survivor, Amazing Race, Hell's Kitchen, Top Chef - If there is a show where someone could be eliminated week-to-week, there is a good chance I'll like the show. I am a student of Survivor, a hopeful contestant with one of my sons on Amazing Race, and I've been to the actual Hell's Kitchen during service. This kind of show is in my wheelhouse.

Food network: Chopped, Good Eats - I like stupid cooking shows, what can I say?

American Idol (above) the stupidest show on television.

SHOWS I'VE NEVER WATCH ONE MINUTE OF AND NEVER WILL
I don't let the fact that I've never seen any of these shows stop me from judging them as complete failures. They are stupid simply because I decided they were.

American Idol - Stupid
Dancing with the Stars - Stupid
Grey's Anatomy - Dumb.
Lost - Stupid

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