Traveling across country in coach

(Above) Jeff's legs jammed into position for his cross-country flight.

You know you aren't a style-guy when you fly across country in coach. I usually fly Northwest because I have tons 'o points there and can sometimes snag an upgrade. But of course, being the cheapest dude in Hollywood, I got a "deal" on United and flew that instead. No priority. No nothin'.

Then, since I was visiting my Mom back east, she loaded up my bag with extra underwear and shoes for my return trip making my suitcase overweight by nine pounds. Again, being cheap, I didn't want to pay the extra $125 so I had to take out nine pounds of underwear and stow them in my carry-on and coat pockets.

Side Note: I don't understand this weight in the suitcase thing. It's not like I took stuff out of my suitcase and threw them away... I just put them in my carry-on and shifted the weight from the cargo hold, to the passenger cabin. In effect, their policy does nothing but make their customers more uncomfortable and/or irritable. End side note.

Then, it was so crowded that the fly attendant yanked my backpack out of the overhead and shoved it under my seat. Heaven forbid I complain or I'd get a little 'Homeland Security 101' in the back room of O'Hare. So I had to lodge my legs into a one position and pray I could get to sleep. No dice.