Neighbors

Jeff's neighbor (above). The best neighbors ignore each
other unless there is a disaster of some kind. I don't
know his name and that is the way I want it to stay.

Not sure if this a cool or Uncool attitude to have but I am very dubious of neighbors. Growing up, it always seemed that my parents got really close to a neighbor, then they'd have a blow-out of some type and then they'd be enemies for years. It always started over a missing garden hose or a forgotten pack of hot dog buns then before you know it there is a full blown beef brewing.

When I got old enough to have my own place, I would make friends with the neighbors, then they would screw me over somehow. So one day I decided, 'to heck with neighbors'. There should be limited interaction between neighbors. When you first move in, you shake hands with the neighbor, make sure the boundary between the two properties is clear, then say no more than two words to the dude for the next twenty years. Bliss.

I make a point to get to know my neighbors 'just enough'. What is just enough?

a) If a maniac were to invade my home and take us all hostage, the neighbor would recognize that it wasn't me using the car.

b) If civilization were to break down, we could combine forces and barracade the houses together and keep the roving gangs out of our cul-de-sac.

c) When I have a party (or they have a party), we could use each others driveways for overflow parking.

d) Vacation patrol. One of us goes on vacation, the other makes sure that squatters don't show up and use the pool.

Everything else is out of bounds. No barbeques together. No Christmas cards. No Friday night card games. Nothing. That's whats so cool about those Hollywood Hills cliff houses is that your neighbor is either three hundred feet above you or three hundred feet below you.