Improper Use of a Piano

So we are able to snag a piano for the the living room. Nothing like a little music tinkling through the house or the strains of one of the boys struggling through Mozart or the sounds a new player making their first chords.... No.

The piano has long since become a big wooden piece of space that has totally taken up a huge chunk of living room that serves no useful purpose. Learning to play: no interest. The only one who has shown even the slightest interest is my 2-year old (who actually sounds like he's making a crude form of music - see below) but rest could care less. Until recently...

Now, the piano serves as a base of operations for the toy army brigade. Rocket launchers and helicopters sit where brilliant sheet music should be residing. Instead of sweet Christmas carols, I hear the BANG, WHAM, BOOM of simulated kid army play.

"Please, Father. Get us a piano. We'll learn to play. We'll practice everyday." Yeah, right. Tell it to your commander at military school...

"Rat Vision" - The Toy Cloak

A pile of toys (above) that have been sitting for a week.
They are currently cloaked and will not be disturbed
by the boys until I move to put them away.

I was once watching a documentary about rats. Apparently, rats won't touch anything that has been put out after dark. Not food, not anything. It's like it doesn't exist, they can't even see it. So if you want to catch rats, you have to make sure you put the trap out before dark. It's called Rat Vision.

My kids have a form of rat vision and it has to do with their toys. If a toy sits for longer than twenty four hours in any one place, no matter where it is, it becomes invisible to the kid. They don't see it. They'll step over it, step around it, all the time unconsciously avoiding it. If you were to ask them where they toy was, they wouldn't know. They would be powerless to find the toy because it has disappeared to another kid dimension. A cloak of invisibility shrouds the toy. A virtual toy cloak exists around toys on the floor.

Now, being a parent, I of course see the toys and grow more furious. I ask the kids to clean up their toys. With all honesty and candor, they try to pick up the toys but they don't see them. They can't pick them up because they don't exist in their minds anymore. They'll say, "Look Dad, my room is clean" and I'll be looking at a room full of toys all over the floor. It's amazing.

The only way to remove the cloak is to move the toys. Even a slight move brings them back into vision. A toy will sit on the floor for a week, I'll move it to a shelf, and my son will pull it back down immediately. "Oh, there it is," he'll say further infuriating me. The rats can now see the cheese. Especially if I 'clean-up' an area and put the toys in a neat configuration on the shelf, they become new and fresh and ripe for the rug.

I spoke with my wife about this and apparently I have the same cloak around all the crud in my garage (but that's another post)...

Now THAT is Comedy

So I go up to my son and say, "make a funny face." On cue, I get the classic 'pull the cheeks out' pose and he holds it while I snap the picture. Niiiiiiiice.

Of course it was THE funniest thing I had seen in about two weeks and couldn't stop laughing for the longest time. He's got a million of these faces so I'm going to try and capture a whole gallery of his Kid Comedy Revue. Excellent work, son #4

Iron Chef Woodland Hills - Rhodes vs. Rhodes

(Above) Creamy Twice-Baked Potato from Jack

(Below) Two-Cheese Freedom Fries from son William.

The winner: Son William. [Notice Dora the Explorer in the background]

It was too hot to go outside and we were bored from watching TV. Solution: Iron Chef Woodland Hills. Rhodes boy #1 versus Rhodes boy #2 in "Battle Potato". Each son had thirty minutes to create one dish based upon today's secret ingredient, the Russet potato.

Jack and sous-chef Dad busted out with a Creamy Twice Baked Potato. William and sous-chef Jordan answered back with a batch of Two-Cheese Freedom fries.

The judging was based upon taste... presentation... and use of the secret ingredient. Once tallied, the scores were close, but the win went to Son #1 and his cheesy french fry. Which goes to show you that when you fry something and add cheese to it, you're always going to be in the game! Nice work team...