Jeff's Tattoo

I don't have a tattoo. I don't want to have a tattoo.

When it was not cool to have a tattoo, I didn't want one. Now that it is cool to have a tattoo, I still don't want one. It has nothing to do with religion or society or friends and family, I just don't have the foggiest idea what I would get. There is absolutely nothing on the planet Earth that I can think of that I would want on my body forever. Maybe I'm not thinking this through enough.

If I commit a crime and go on the lam, I would want no distinguishing marks on me. I don't want any gang trouble.

My wife really wants me to get one so I threaten her that if she insists, I'll get a Star Trek tattoo (that is my clever way of nullifying the cool-guy factor [tattoo] by getting an Uncool tattoo [Star Trek emblem], thus canceling each other out). If I really, really, really had to get a tattoo, I narrowed it down to two possibilities:

a) Anchor - I'd get the classic Popeye anchor drawn cartoon style.

b) "Moth" - In honor of one of my favorite Simpsons episodes, I'd get the same tattoo Bart got at the mall.

But since both are TV references and kind of meant to be a joke, I don't think that is a good enough reason. Plus, they're too expensive.