Dog Walking - The Long Way

Duke the Dog (above) - "For the love of God, would somebody please

throw a cotton-pickin leash on me and take me for a walk so I can go

to the bathroom?  Am I asking too much here?  Hello?  Kid?  Walk me!"

As a loving father, I try to teach my children the ways of the world. When they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked and they asked for a dog, I continually said 'No'.

'Why Dad?' they cried.
'Because I don't want to take care of a dog. I don't want a dog,' I answered.
'You don't understand, Dad. We'll take of the dog,' they cried.
'You don't understand. You'll care for the dog for four days, after which you will no longer care for the dog.'
'Not true, Dad. You'll see.'

I relented.  Got dog.  Oh, well.  Example:

'Son, walk the dog.'

The two older boys do rock/paper/scissors to see who HAS to walk the dog. The 'LOSER' then starts the 90 minute procedure to give the dog a fifteen minute walk:

1. Watch 15 minutes more of television.
2. Wait for Dad to scream exactly three times before moving.
3. Go to the bathroom, read a book for 20 minutes.
4. Get dressed, very slowly.
5. Go through Pokemon cards.
6. Watch brother play video games.
7. Dad screams again ('I'm doing it!' replies the boy)
8. Get a drink first.
9. Pull out a toy that hasn't been touched in three years.
10. Sit down and start watching tv again because dog walking has been forgotten.
11. Dad screams again.
12. Kid gets upset because he is getting yelled at 'for no reason'.