I Hate Mr. Potato Head

(Above) Mr. Potato Head mocking me, as usual.

I enjoy giving toys to my children, it is one of the pleasures of fatherhood. There is one toy, however, that I have grown to loathe: Mr. Potato Head. Why? Oh sure, it is cute, iconic, full of variety and relatively inexpensive. But...

My kids never play with the thing. Not since that first day when it was half-put-together has it ever been assembled. The pieces are everywhere. In the couch. Under the table. In the bed. For a toy that is never played with, somehow the pieces get everywhere. It is as if Mr. Potato Head wanted to preserve himself so he sneaks around the house at night distributing his body parts in various nooks & crannies so as to never be caught all in one place. It's outrageous the amount of space this toy takes up.

The most annoying thing of all is that each of the pieces has a little plastic spike on the end of it. The spike is ostensibly so that you can stick the various feet/eyes/ears/arms into the potato body, but usually they only ever end up sticking in the bottom of my foot. There's nothing worse that stumbling into the babies bedroom in the middle of the night and impaling my foot in one of Mr. Potato Heads eyeball clusters.

Next yard sale, I swear... next yard sale!